Help Wanted
by EEevee
Summary: [challenge] [kidou shinsengumi tv] Kaoru has a very particular problem.


Title: Help Wanted

Author: Eeevee

Series: Kidou Shinsengumi Moeyo TV

Kaoru stared at the mirror, ignoring the booms and bangs that were going on outside. It probably wasn't anything to worry about; Kondou was always destroying something. She was so good at that, but Kaoru really didn't mind as long as she didn't have to clean it up.

"Heeeya!" Kondou bounded up happily. There were rips and tears in her clothing, but she sparkled anyway. Not to mention her chest heaved happily. That was the part Kaoru glared jealously at. Why wasn't she that well endowed?

She didn't want bowling balls or anything, but anything had to be better than lemons! Sheesh.

"Wanna go with me 'n' Ryuunosuke to the market?" Kondou asked. Her eyes slid sideways in the cunning fashion that usually made Kaoru want to jump away. Usually it meant a painful pinch in the bath. This time she couldn't seem to get the motive behind the look. The only way to find out was to go with them. Besides, she could then be with her Ryuunosuke!

"Sure."

The walk was far from quiet, but it was routine. Kondou accosted random civilians and glanced around for deals. Ryuunosuke and the neko were quietly talking between themselves.

Kaoru wondered how he had become so close with such a creature. Kaoru wasn't dumb. It was quite obvious that not all the people in Japan were willing to embrace youkai, harmless or not, registered or not. Yet his best friend and traveling companion seemed to be one.

Well, it was just another thing that made her like him!

"Hey you!" Kondou screamed, pointing with a sharp index finger. She only paused for a moment before tearing off after the poor creature, "Thief!" Truly, the thief had picked the wrong person to pickpocket. And aside from all the screaming and fury, Kaoru knew Kondou was broke. They all were. Her own purse was pitifully parched.

She really needed a job that paid.

A girl could get by on the essentials for only so long. Maybe that was why her chest was flatter than a Hijikata's sense of humor. She simply needed to eat more… but then she would gain those pounds that even all the running around wouldn't shed.

"She sure is energetic today, isn't she?" Ryuunosuke remarked, rubbing the back of his head in bemusement, "I feel sorry for that guy when she catches up with him."

The neko nodded in agreement.

Kaoru would have too except a sign had caught her eye. She bent down to read it, since the words had proclaimed the job paid well.

'Wanted: Young female hostess to entertain clients. Pays well, youkai allowed.'

Hastily she snatched the note down and crumpled it in a ball. The next trashcan they passed had a gift. She was glad she didn't have any trouble remember names and addresses. She would simply sneak out later and see about this little side job.

In this day and age, you needed cash to get what you wanted.

Of course, she would sweeten the Shinsengumi's pot too. It would only be fair.

Since the flyer had requested that the potential employee appear at night, she was more than happy to comply. After all, most of their action happened during the day.

When she got to the address, she licked her lips nervously.

A handsome, if sedate man answered her knock. He looked very much in place at this grand Western mansion. He even wore a black western suit, which made Kaoru nervous. She felt like being here maybe wasn't the best thing at the moment.

"Umm, sorry, I must have… umm, I can't…"

"This way please, young lady." The man said smoothly. He effectively ignored her stuttering and ushered her in firmly, "There. Now, if you would please take a seat, I will go fetch the Master."

She sat down and fiddled her fingers.

An older gentleman approached her. He was slightly hunched over and balding, but he didn't lean too heavily on his cane.

"You need a job." It wasn't a question.

"Umm, yeah, I suppose so." Kaoru replied getting up to bow. She eyed her new employer leery, really wishing she hadn't come. There were some shady dealings here, obviously, so she was bound to stick around.

Maybe there were youkai being used as slaves or something. Yeah, she would definitely have to investigate this matter.

"Hmm…" He looked her up and down speculatively, "Turn around please… yes, in a circle. I want to see all sides of you to make sure you're pleasing to our guests."

Humiliated, Kaoru slowly turned in a circle.

"Very good." His eyes lingered on her chest and he nodded again, "Yes, you will do very well for this job."

She shivered.

"Follow me, young lady. We have very prestigious clients here, so you will have to possess flawless manners and be good with your temper."

Well, she wasn't as bad as Kondou anyway.

"I need you to be the sweet young lady I see before me. Us old ones like young, sweet things." He continued and she jumped. Old… men?

Just what kind of job was this? Luring in innocent, young, pure, sweet, did she mention innocent, victims! She was liking this at negative degrees now.

"You need to make sure to be helpful like a good girl. Help the customers in the bath when they need it. Give encouragement to those who have trouble getting up."

Her mouth fell open at that suggestion. She wasn't so innocent she didn't know what he just told her to do!

The old man was now prattling on, ignoring her reactions, "And you'll have to do some undressing too. These shaky old fingers aren't as good as they used to be at things."

"I think…" Kaoru collected herself, "That this isn't the job for me…"

He glanced up at her, worried, "Oh no, dear, you look perfect for the part."

"I'll be leaving… now. Good luck finding someone to fill in…"

The old man watched the young lady leave and shook his head. He didn't even get to tell her that this was a hot spring resort for tender old ladies who needed a rest. And she seemed like such a caring young lady too. And with her lack of chest and rump, the oldsters wouldn't be up in arms about their sagging.

Kaoru ran all the way home and threw herself in bed. Yes, staying with the Shinsengumi full time looked wonderful.

Crash.

"Waah, what are you doing Kondou!"

"I wish to sleep."

"What's going on out there? Was that my dishes?"

Kaoru smiled, ignoring the screams of outrage.

No old men here. Just one young, fine, generous, kind, caring... zzz.

A/N: bwahaha, I'm not evil, not at all!


End file.
